The North Pole.... Errr, I mean the counselor's office

I like warm people. People who are friendly and can make a person feel comfortable.... My kind of crowd... : )

I made my second visit to the counselor today... and I have to say, she's an iceberg! OK, maybe that's exaggerating, but definitely an icicle! She is just not outwardly friendly, at all! Last time, I gave her the benefit of the doubt... I thought, perhaps she is just having a bad day... But, I show up today, and again, a polar bear. There was really no effort made to get to know me, and she just dove right into things. Of course, I was there to talk about my situation, but I could have used a little superficial B.S. talk for a couple of minutes at least... how's the weather?... maybe a smile... or God forbid, a laugh? I was nervous! And she wasn't helping!

Also, from what I gather, it does not seem that my civilian counselor has much experience with the military, deployments, or combat-related PTSD... Some of the things that have come out of her mouth just blow my mind... and then I become more frustrated than anything!

For example:

The counselor gave me this whole scenario surrounding a husband getting cancer. She said that in this case, the wife might take on extra duties, pick up slack in the marriage, and provide lots of support to the husband in his time of need. In return, the husband will love his wife more and be grateful for what she's done for him. I was sure she was using this as a stepping stone to then say how the nature of PTSD makes the latter dynamic different... but she didn't! She was trying to show similarity in the two situations! She said that Dh should be loving me more now after all that I've done for him! Maybe in a PTSD fairy tale! Anyone who has even done a google search of PTSD can see that a major symptom is emotional numbing. Of course Dh isn't going to show me more love and be grateful to me at this point! Down the road, when he reflects back on it all, that could be a possibility... but not now! When I mention that the very nature of PTSD is different from cancer in that it affects emotions and relationships differently... the counselor provides some roundabout explanation to direct things in a route that suggests that yes, in fact, she is right.

Also, the counselor went on to make a generalization about military folk, saying that most guys come back and are just so happy to love and spend time with their families that it surpasses the effects of the war. And yes... this is true, for some... But not for all! I mean,.. HELLO, reintegration issues!

All together, the counselor just seemed to emphasize in a cordial way that Dh is a wierdo for not returning from war being loving and grateful for his wife. And, that he is even more of a weirdo because he won't love me extra and be more grateful for me now that I have supported him through his weirdness.

Acckkkk. I know beggars can't be choosers when it comes to free counseling (thanks to Military One Source, and it's not their fault- this counselor is the sole provider in my area), so I'll shut up now. Maybe a portable heater would do the trick? Or perhaps maybe one of those big shiny solar panels? Or, maybe I will just put her in a snowsuit : ) Sarah from Trying to Grok could knit her a hat and mittens! ha, the thought makes me laugh!