Copy Cat

Things have really come to a stalemate between Dh and I. As I posted about not too long ago, he really doesn't seem to know what he wants... and the longer things go on, I find myself feeling the same way.

As a matter of fact... I find that Dh and I are starting to have a lot in common in this circus of a life. He seems to be emotionally detached from the situation, and as of lately, so am I. Perhaps things just became too painful to bear, but one day recently, I just stopped being sad.

He is avoiding me because it's easier than acknowledging that I'm here. I've started to do the same with him... it's easier not to see him, as then I am not reminded of what our relationship has become.

I'm not saying that these newly developed behaviors are healthy... I know that they aren't... I actually wish that I was not "copying" him when it comes to these feelings, or the lack there of... I also want to be clear that none of this is out of spite. It just seems that stages of grief are catching up with me...

Shit... I had tried sooooo hard for that not to happen.