Dh's impending trip has really got me in a funk. I look back on the previous post, and I was full of optimism. Today, I'm just worrying. I'm really worried that Dh will lose all the progress that he has made thus far. There have been times lately that I see little pieces of "the real Dh" come out, and I love that... I love it for him and I love it for the both of us. It has taken so much to come this far, and it would be such a shame to lose it all... and considering the condition that Dh is in right now, the two week trip provides plenty of time to facilitate that loss.
As I really think about all of this, I realize that it's not just Dh that I'm worried about... it's me... and really, us. Just as I felt excitement about our future in the previous post, I feel worried about it today. I mean, it's not just Dh succumbing to his PTSD, it's the life we had planned together. The camping trips, being silly with one another, the babies we planned to have... Maybe I'm thinking irrationally, or giving this trip too much weight, ... but these are my honest feelings and concerns.
I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one that worries about things ahead of time...
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2 comments:
I would be worried about the same things. Any person who is in love with someone would feel like you do.
I don't know if you are a praying person. That is what I'm recommending. I'll pray with you here on this end. God wants your marriage to work. There is an enemy that wants it to fail.
There is a book called the Power of Positive Thinking, written back in the 1950s. It is wonderful! One story related in the book is about a woman whose husband told her he was going to leave her. She asked him to stay one more month and at the end of the month, if he still wanted to leave, he could. Norman Vincent Peale told the woman to pray for her husband and marriage, to picture him sitting in his chair, reading the paper, to picture in her mind as she prayed that their marriage was better. So the woman prayed everyday. By the end of the month, her husband wasn't leaving after dinner to go out with his lady friend. When the end of the month came, the woman asked her husband if he had was going to stay or leave. He had made his mind to stay - - well God had worked in his heart - - and the wife's.
You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. God will put peace on your heart while DH is gone, I know this without a doubt. Just lift it up to Him.
I am the praying type, and I don't know that I've ever prayed so much as I have been recently! Except for maybe when Dh was deployed... I will keep the positive thinking thing in mind : ) Thanks for the advice!
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