5¢ Confessions

When all of this started, I thought to myself, "How am I even going to make it through the day?" I feel incredibly selfish even typing that. I have always been an altruistic sort of person, and I view myself in that light. I guess that is why I feel like it's wrong of me to feel sad or angry for myself, and I actually feel guilty doing so!

Why should I feel bad for myself when my husband came home? At this point there are 4,099 that haven't from this war alone. That figure that is so much more than a number lends to countless family members whose lives will never be the same...

And haven't you seen those commercials? People are sick, starving and homeless all over the world... and with only five-cents per day I could help.

So now, at one of the hardest times of my life, I find myself looking upon the hardship that others have endured to remind myself that things could really be much worse. But simultaneously, I am a human, and damn it, I deserve to feel crappy sometimes! Avoiding negative emotions, talking myself out of being sad/angry, is actually something that I've been doing for a long time now...way before DH was diagnosed with PTSD. So, in effort to stop the madness of not letting myself be mad, I am going to start doing five-cent confessions on my blog. I am going to give myself the five-cents for once.... five-cents worth of talking about something that makes me feel angry, sad, betrayed... whatever negative emotion you can think of. Basically, it's going to be a bitch session. Feel free to join if you like!

(Ughh...I re-read this and I am already feeling selfish! Darn it! I guess that allowing myself to feel sucky is going to be a struggle in itself...)